Being in Presence

     I could have easily titled this blog, "Being in Stillness" for I find that it is in the stillness that I am able to find presence.   But, first I have learn to be still.  My body can't be figidity nor in discomfort.  My mind can't be restless bouncing one thought off of another, nor be sleepy that I drift into a dream world. When my body is stable and comfortable, and my mind is alert and single-focused on the breath, I can sink into stillness for brief moments.  Of course, I am not totally still as my heart keeps beating and the cycles of breath continue. But, sometimes even my breath seems to drop away.   My conscious muscular movements are held in stillness. My mental wandering is stilled by maintaining singular focus. This stillness is the containment of my  output with the world. In this stillness I become aware of presence. Sitting in meditation I can find this presence very profound in the degree of nourishment I receive. This presence is the complete mental absorption of the present moment.  Past nor future exists.  Time is suspended. Without a past or future, I have no autobiographical history nor memories, nor do I have desires or goals.  It is really a beautiful state.  It is a peek into my pure essence without time nor form. A wholeness in being.

     Sometimes, this stillness is only for jut a brief breath cycle or two before my mind loses focus. By building present awareness I catch that my mind has wandered and return it back to the breath.  I sit going in and out of stillness and exercising present awareness for ten or fifteen minutes.  Eventually my outer mind rules and I leave this inner sanctum of meditation to go on with my day of interacting with the outer world.

    I was at the grocery store yesterday and going down one of the aisles there was a  father and his two children.  I did not catch what the father said but one of the girls responded with such a pure and infectious laughter.  I like to think that my practice of meditation allowed for a mini pause to appreciate this moment of sweet, joyful laughter from a child in the midst of such a mundane task as grocery shopping. Ten to fifteen minutes of meditation in the morning allows me to be present to appreciate those other nourishing moments that life can offer.