Asmita - The False Self

In Sanskrit there is the word, asmita, which is often translated as the false identified self. I venture that asmita may be the sense of incompleteness.  By feeling incomplete there is a continual search for wholeness. Ignorance comes in when we only focus on one part of our reality to find wholeness, and not the entire reality of our being. Ignorance keeps us keep looking in the same places over and over again.

If you have been following the last few posts, I presented the yogic understanding of the power of the mind and the model of the mind. The buddhi is the discriminating mind that sees inward to one’s essence and thus being connected more to the source of our being, while the manas is the mind that interacts with the outer world. Through the senses the manas interacts and forms experiences that lay impressions on the mind.  These impressions give rise to emotions expressing likes and dislikes towards outside world. Ignorance leans on the manas mind to bring wholeness.

Between the manas mind and the buddhi mind is the ahamkara which give the sense of  “I am-ness.”  The more the ahamkara is fed by the manas mind the more we form a false identification of who we are, because we left out the experience of the buddhi mind that connects to another dimension of reality.  What is the experience of the buddhi mind? The experience of our inner inherent love and joy.

To only know one aspect of reality without the other misinforms and in yogic terms is called avidya, or ignorance.  One would think that this ignorance is a negative.  However, it is this ignorance that shapes us to be able to exist in this ever changing world of form. It is also this ignorance which we must unravel to lead us back to our essence. 

We are reminded every moment of the outer world, whether it is the buzz of the alarm clock to wake us up, the cry of  a child needing to be fed, or looking at the gas gauge in the car telling us that it’s time for refueling. It is the experience of the inner world that eludes us.  Why should I even be interested in this inner world?  Isn’t it just a cop out for escaping the outer world? The answer is, “No.” This inner world is not an escape, it is a reality that brings completeness to who we truly are.  To know this inner reality is to come to balance with our existence of both inner and outer worlds. 

The method to find this inner world is through meditation.  Often times people think that the goal of meditation is to make the mind go blank.  That goal leads to frustration because it is not the nature of the mind to stop roaming.  The mind is always seeking.  What does the mind seek?  It seeks an experience of fulfillment, a sense of wholeness.  When the mind is focused outwardly the mind attempts constantly to find fulfillment through possessions (money, house, car , clothing…), or relationships (a partner, status, popularity,..)  But, here we find fulfillment fleeting. We get what we think we want, but the seeking for fulfillment does not stop and we turn our attention to something else. With a regular meditation practice we unfold the buddhi mind and glimpse a blissful being-ness beyond time and space.

In some ways the mind is much more intelligent than we give it credit for.  It’s like having a pet cat looking up at you and meowing away, as if saying, "Don't you get me?" You know it is trying to communicate something important to you, but the language barrier obscures the message. Do you want food? Do you want out? Did you hear something? You proceed to go through the list of actions to see which one will satisfy the cat’s cry.

Well, our mind keeps meowing so we buy clothes, we call a friend, we take a nap, go on a trip, watch Netflix, eat our favorite food, and the mind still cries. Through the practice of meditation done consistently, patiently, and with enthusiasm, the experience comes when the mind is turned inward to the buddhi and experiences another dimension of being that is deeply real and fulfilling. The mind no longer cries. This inner experience then shines as strongly as any outer experience. The inner and outer worlds merge.  The sense of identity is not longer incomplete. Avidya dissolves and the mental impressions that had harden our self-identity softens to be less impressionable. The ahamkara then knows the totality of being. Wholeness is found. This totality of the knowing Self allows one to find the balance of being in the world, but not of the world.  This is the great realization known as Yoga.